


Don't let me go

by 1d_larryshipper



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Bit cheesy, Depression, Gay, Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, Sad, Sequel, Sex, but it does have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1d_larryshipper/pseuds/1d_larryshipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before, Harry and Louis were in love until they weren't quite so much anymore. But both are finding it hard to let each other go, and can Harry bring back the love his life before Louis lets him go permanently? </p><p> </p><p>This is a sequel to: They Once Were </p><p> </p><p>P.S. I'm really bad at summaries so I promise this better than I make it sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't let me go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imaqueen1234567](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaqueen1234567/gifts).



> Hi, if you haven't already you can read They Once Were (http://archiveofourown.org/works/811854) but it isn't required for this story. Whatever happens in that story is implied here. 
> 
> I wrote this for imaqueen1234567 because she had asked for a sequel (for her) so this one is for you, sorry it took me so long!
> 
> I've been working on this since I finished TOW but I haven't had the right inspiration to give them a reason to get back together. Then, after hearing the song Harry recorded I had loads of inspiration to write and write and write!
> 
> ***Just wanted to address a few things that I feel like might bother people in the story***
> 
> 1\. I am very aware that most American bars/clubs would NOT serve alcohol to an underaged One Direction due to them being so intentionally famous it could ruin the clubs reputation. However, for this story I made it happen because...that's what I wanted. Yep. Also, Louis Tomlinson is 21 so. O_O.
> 
> 2\. A fun dip is a real drink--it's my littles favorite and I've never had them but I heard they taste exactly like the candy. You can google recipes if you're interested! And if you aren't aware what a fun dip is (I actually have no clue if they have them in England) they are little bags of colored sugar that are sour and sweet with little chalk sugar hard sticks that you lick and then dip and then lick the sugar off. They're ridiculous but everyone loves a good ol' fashioned fun dip. Amiright or amiright?
> 
> 2B. I also don't know if you're required a pool pass in England. Do they have local pools? I live about 30 minutes out of D.C. and my neighborhood has a local pool that we pay to attend with our home owners insurance...I don't think it works like that for everywhere in America but I think most neighborhoods/living areas have a local pool which they pay some type of fee to attend. When I went to Germany and stayed with a girl we went to the 'pool' but it was some type of waterpark/swimming area...she called it a pool but she also didn't speak very good English so maybe she didn't know how to say waterpark. Or maybe that really is what a pool is over there and in that case we need to start taking notes because I want a waterslide at MY pool. Also, Germany isn't England and I've been to London two times but I didn't go to any pools. I just ate a poptart milkshake and cried because everyone spoke English and actually liked us, unlike every other country my student ambassador group had attended. The first time I went my mom made besties with the women who worked behind the counter because her name was Helen as well and they discussed my period and I didn't speak to her for two days. I turned 13 on that trip and had a horrible puberty, don't judge me. Also we ate at a pub...I think...and some little school girls were playing in the grass with my sister and I was so angry/jealous that I didn't have to wear a uniform to school. I love uniforms, but I bet that's because I wasn't required to wear one. I don't actually think anyone reads these notes, btw. I'm pretty sure I just talk for the benefit of myself LOL.
> 
> 3\. I really hope you don't think that the ending was super rushed or ridiculous, or corny (it's mega cheese with an extra layer of nacho drizzling).
> 
> 4\. I DO hope that you guys really like it and enjoy the fact that I added in the song to the mix! 
> 
> 5\. I rambled a lot...yiiiiiiikes all mighty.

When they were voted off the X-factor, Louis didn’t cry. He had cupped Harry’s red, wet, cheeks between his hands and whispered nonsense as their foreheads touched. Back then Harry was still shorter than he was and tucked easily under his chin, Liam’s arms coming around them. Zayn and Niall had joined on and together they all rocked slowly following Louis’ lead.

 

Louis hadn’t tucked Harry under his chin in years, not since he was the sweet-faced sixteen-year-old whose personality vibrantly splashed along the walls of the X-factor house with his loud giggle and wiggling hips as they snuck off into the bathroom in the middle of the night; the moon would filter through the windows and Harry’s teeth would glow as he teasingly slid his pants, revealing the thin strip of white along the top of his pert backside.

 

But, it’s been a long time since Harry was his small, angel faced baby following every footstep Louis left imprinted.

 

\--

 

“Hi, love.” Louis shoves himself deeper into the comforter. He can feel Harry’s hands gentle on his back as he rubs through the thick blankets. “I brought you breakfast baby.” Harry, true to his word, hasn’t given up on trying to repair their relationship. It had been three weeks and Louis hadn’t so much as kissed Harry but he had given up on trying to resist Harry’s soft hugs, and lips pressed to Louis’ forehead and cheeks. “I got you eggs benedict, I know that’s your favorite,” Harry coaxes and Louis finally emerges from where he had squirmed further away from the inquiring hands. “Hi,” Harry breathes gently and even his eyes are smiling as he leans in to kiss and Louis turns sharply, letting Harry catch his cheek. Harry doesn’t falter but his smile fades from his eyes and he busies his hands with refolding the napkin.

 

“Thank you,” Louis’ voice is gruff with sleep and Harry shifts to move the tray over Louis lap. Harry stays seated at the edge of the bed but stares longingly at the open spot next to Louis. Louis eyes the spot as he takes a messy bite of his breakfast and feels the guilt creep up into him. Every morning Harry would bring a large breakfast, often surprising Louis in bed and sit with him while he waited for Louis to finish. Harry never moved to find the spot that used to be rightfully his but Louis always saw the painful desire in his eyes. They hadn’t shared a bed since the Cal incident but Louis knew that Harry also spent the majority of his nights on the couch in the sitting area of the hotel suites instead.

 

When Louis finally had cracked and asked about it, Harry had just shrugged softly and sad, “I don’t want to sleep in a bed that doesn’t have you,” and moved in to hug Louis until Louis relented and hugged Harry back. Harry hadn’t mentioned the way the smaller boys’ body had wracked with tears, just tucked Louis under his chin much like the older boy had done for him so long ago.

 

“Of course,” Harry says bringing Louis’ mind back to the present, “Anything for you. Do you need anything else?” He asks but his eyes won’t meet Louis. Louis stomach pangs with a dreadful feeling as Harry pulls at a loose thread coming from the edge of the bedding.

 

“No, I’m…I’m alright.” Louis slows his chewing and nudges Harry’s thigh with his foot, giving him a small smile when Harry looks up confused. Harry’s fingers twitch as he curls them into fists in an obvious fight with himself to not reach out and curl his hands around Louis’ delicate ankles. “Would you…” Louis’ voice falters as he loses his nerve to ask Harry to curl around him. “Harry could you,” He tries again and Harry’s eyes are wet as he looks at his ex-boyfriend, the green of his irises swimming with want.

 

“Yeah?” Harry asks and he looks at the spot before looking at the door. “You need me to?” He gestures his thumb and his voice is raw. He had grown used to Louis moods with him, sometimes wanting Harry to curl around him and other times practically clawing his own skin to get Harry away from him.

 

“No!” Louis all but shouts and startles both of them, “Hazza can you come here?” He finally gets out his voice tight. Harry moves instantly, crawling up on the bed as Louis holds the tray steadily and lies in the spot next to Louis. Louis is glad that the aching in his heart has dulled some and he sets his now finished breakfast on the floor next to the bed. He flicks on the TV and pulls the duvet higher up on his chest.

 

“Thank you,” Harry whispers and Louis nods but won’t look him in the face. It’s a start.

 

* * *

 

The club is packed; a night off from their tour was much need for all of the boys and staff. Their team had hand picked a bit of a dumpier joint with an luminous pink sign out front. It was often frequented by American university students during their breaks due to the open, and glowing, dance floor and extensive bar and was generally not incredibly exclusive but had graciously agreed to monitor the crowd for the night. Outside, along with their normal team of security, stood two burly men with matching shaved heads and tank tops that read _The Flamingo_ and ear pieces to communicate with similarly dressed guards near the fire escapes and back entrance.

 

Outside boys and girls and the like were lined with cameras and eager faces as the van pulled up out front of the club. Most of the queue was lined with girls in their young twenties, the club not allowing anyone under 18 except for the band, dressed in neon tops and too much make-up. Louis bit back a sigh at the lack of boys he knew would not be frequenting the, now quite popular, club.

 

It wasn’t that he was ready, or even wanting, to find another bloke after the Harry and Cal Incident but he was tired of feeling so confused. He wanted nothing more to lean forward from his seat in the back to tug his stubby fingers through Harry’s thick mane where he sits directly in front of him but every time his fingers move his throat constricts and he knows that he can’t. Forgiving Harry for his lips on Cal wasn’t something that Louis was sure he could ever do. Get over it, maybe someday, and continuing their relationship as strictly friends was something he could do. The perfect way to dull the ache he felt every time Niall leaned in to close or Lou would give Harry’s shoulder a shove.

 

 

Oddly, at a time like this, as they drive through the streets of Ft. Lauderdale and Louis tries not to let the opposite ways of driving make his stomach jolt he is reminded of the way that he would sneak Lottie’s CD’s of Busted. At the time he had been so worried of what people would think, that Stan would take every opportunity to bring it up, so he had kept it a secret that he was memorizing every line to Year 3000 and Thunderbird.

 

Now Louis freely admitted to having loved the band and even blushed when he had briefly met James Bourne when they had been at Tom and Gi’s home. As the lights blur as they sped along to The Flamingo, he sees Harry giggle at something Cal shouts from the front seat and all Louis can hear is Who’s David ringing in his ears. As the chorus echoes loudly in his ears, so do the screams of girls outside, and the van door opens to let them all out.

 

Body guards surround them on each side and they jump to the front of the queue, Louis feeling his stomach twist with insecurities as people who don’t quite recognize them shout obscenities at the bouncers for allowing them. Cameras flash on each side as they shout out Harry’s name but they are inside the dimly lit club before anyone could register the questions that had been asked.

 

Zayn and Liam quickly take off towards the smaller martini bar, their personal body guards following behind at a respectable distance.

 

“We can’t drink here, can we?” Niall asks Kev their drummer who shrugs his shoulders with a, _who gives a shit?_ expression on his face.

 

“Don’t think nobody is gonna say much.” Louis really likes the way Kev’s accent is so thickly southern. They had only met him two days ago, and he had briefly mentioned living in some state that began with an A but Louis had always been shit at his own countries geography-let alone memorizing something as big as America.

 

Together, Niall and Kev walk up to the bar and Louis watches as they exchange a few words with the bartender who eyes Niall up and down but serves him anyways.

 

“Want a drink?” Harry is still close to his side as they over near the edge of the dance floor but Louis subtly shifts so that Harry’s breath stops tickling the side of his ear. If they were here to blow off some steam and relax, Louis knew it wasn’t going to happen if Harry followed his every footstep.

 

He wasn’t leaving any imprints for the boy to follow anymore.

 

“Nah, I’m good mate. Thanks.” Out on the dance floor he catches a Latino guy with slicked back hair and tight trousers eyeing him up and down. “Think I might fancy a dance,” He nods towards the flowing lights coming from the floor shooting out pinks and purples everywhere people stepped.

 

“Yeah?” Harry asks and follows his eyes spotting the guy, “Oh…yeah.” Harry’s tone changes from casually hopeful to quiet in a span of seconds. “I might just have a bit of a sit down with Lou and Tom. Don’t be a stranger, come if you need me.” He reaches for Louis, as if he can’t help himself, and gives Louis’ wrist a possessive squeeze and then he’s gone.

 

As Louis makes his way towards the guy he can’t help the guilt that starts to wash over him, starting from the red spots where Harry’s fingertips pressed to tightly on his bones. As guilty as he feels, however, Louis forces his feet to keep in the direction of the boy and not to look back at Harry’s distressed face-which he knows his directed on him.

 

 _He did it to himself,_ Louis tries to remind his heart, _if he didn’t want you dancing with another man he wouldn’t have kissed him. It’s only a bit of fun._ Before he can convince himself that the club was an entire mistake and beg someone to drive him back to the hotel, the boy is in front of him smelling of Ralph Lauren cologne and coconut rum.

 

“Hi,” He has no accent, which Louis feels only mildly disappointed about but his teeth are straighter and whiter than any boy, who wasn’t involved in show business, that Louis had ever seen. Up close, Louis can see a small scar next to his long nose, and that he has stubble lining his chin. His dark eyes are lined with small lashes, but he’s beautiful and nothing like Harry.

 

“Hi,” Louis says back to him and gives a coy smile back as he cocks his hip to the side. Harry or no Harry he knew how to use his body to flirt.

 

“Want to dance?” The guy asks but doesn’t wait for an answer before drawing Louis chest right into his own and placing his warm hands on Louis hips. “You’re very beautiful,” The guy says looking down to Louis. He wasn’t much taller, maybe an inch or two and Louis maybe hates the way he doesn’t have to tilt his head up to stare back.

 

“Not bad yourself,” He makes himself say and sways his hips to the beat of the club. They don’t say much as Louis is spun around and his arse his now level with the mans crotch. He can feel the hardness pressing between his jean-clad cheeks and he bites his lip as the friction makes his lower stomach tingle. The look on Harry’s face from across the floor at the tables keeps him from feeling anymore turned on.

 

It feels like hours as they dance, and they are both sweaty when the boy whispers into his ear, “What’s your name?” panting heavily, and though his voice isn’t deep and slow and _familiar,_ Louis moans softly by surprise.

 

“Louis,” He chokes out when the man gives a particularly sensual swivel of his hips.

 

“I’m Christian, can I buy you a drink?” And suddenly Louis is no longer pressed against the man’s chest and he’s being tugged towards the bar. He feels as if he’s on auto-pilot as they make their way to where Zayn and Liam look to be in a heated debate with some of the sound check guys.

 

Louis sits down as the guy reads over the specials on the blackboard behind the counter and smiles as he says, “Two fun dips please,” and Louis snorts at the ridiculousness of the name.

 

“What the Christ is a fun dip?” The words seem foreign on his tongue but he hasn’t laughed like this in weeks.

 

“You’ve never had a fun dip before?” Christian asks incredulously at Louis confused expression. “Well you’ve heard of the candy before, right?”

 

The name seems familiar and maybe Louis had passed it in the aisle when looking at the American candy but he had always fancied the sour starbursts more so he never spent much time dawdling. He shrugs and gives a genuine smile, covering his laugh with his hands when Christian’s eyebrows rise up to his hairline.

 

“Never had fun dip before? What the hell did you eat during summer time at the pool then?”

 

“I mean…nothing? I never really went to the pool.” Which was true, his parents rarely had the money to pay rent let alone buy swimming passes for all of the kids. He had gone once with Stan using a guest pass but mostly they had stood around and stared at all the girls who had suddenly gone up two cup-sizes and Louis had pretended to be interested when Connie Blishart’s top had come undone.

 

“Well, shit,” The bartender hands Christian the drinks and Louis stares incredulously at the clear blue liquid in the glass. “Cheers to you then, and me for stealing your fun dip virginity, it must be my lucky night.” He gives Louis a wink and taps the edge of their glasses together, and Louis tries to ignore the flush of his cheeks and the flutter inside him.

 

“Just might be,” He cheekily answers and follows Christian’s lead of taking a large swig of the surprisingly sour drink.

 

* * *

 

Four fun dips in, and Louis can’t see as clearly as he had before as he and Christian messily stumble their way back to the now blue and green dance floor.

 

“Stop, stop, I might trip,” Christian begs as Louis leans heavily on him and they are back as close as they can be to their original dancing spot. Louis bursts into giggles at the thought of Christian falling forward and it only makes him lean heavier into Christian’s lean side.

 

“S-sorry,” Louis slurs and does his best apologetic face by widening his eyes and looking up at Christian through his lashes. When he was eight and broken his nan’s glass blown tea kettle on display, the look had ended up getting him a biscuit and out of trouble.

 

“You’re cute as shit, you know that?” Christian asks him with a sigh, and frames both of Louis’ delicate cheeks in his hands. He runs his thumbs over Louis’ cheekbones.

 

“Cute as shit?” Louis as confused, “Is that a compliment?” But they both can’t stop giggling as they spin around to the lazy song echoing from the speakers. Louis isn’t sure how long they spent at the bar but the club seems less packed than it had before they had grabbed drinks.

 

“It’s definitely a compliment,” Christian breathes and his breath stinks of blue raspberry vodka as he nudges his soft lips onto Louis’ own. Louis moans in surprise but his arms lift to Christian’s shoulders as he tilts his head back as Christian licks into his mouth.

 

Louis can feel the way their lips slip with dribble, as all drunk kisses were never quite as romantic as everyone seemed to make them, but only moans at the way Christian nips hard at his bottom lip. “You have a hotel near by?” Christian asks him as he begins to kiss up and down Louis throat, stopping at his ear and suckling gently at the tanned lobe.

 

“Yes,” Louis breathes, “Five minutes down the road…” His heart is hammering as they join hands and Louis tries not to think of the way Christian’s other hand doesn’t settle on the small of his back and how he is too focused on tugging Louis towards the back exit instead of snogging him senseless. Louis tries not to think of how he isn’t Harry.

 

Suddenly, a soft hand is on his wrist and Louis stops in his tracks to drunkenly sway around to see Harry staring down at his and Christians tangled fingers. “Leaving, Lou?” Harry asks and Louis can see the way the green in his eyes has turned from light celery colored to a moss forest. Harry was angry. Or jealous. Or both.

 

“I…yeah.” Louis says to him and can’t bring himself to look in Harry’s eyes. He can feel his buzz wearing slowly away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Hazza?” He asks him and this time manages to bring himself to look at Harry’s face which has turned blotchy and Louis can see the tears catching on his lashes.

 

“I really fucked up, haven’t I?” Harry’s voice cracks as he just stares down at Louis occupied hand and the knife Louis had been feeling in his chest for week’s twists at a tortuously slow rate.

 

“What’s going on?” Christian’s question is directed to Louis but he doesn’t take his hardened eyes off of Harry.

 

“Nothin’ mate, sorry. I was just…making sure Louis was okay. Being a good friend is all. Have a good time,” Harry gives a tight smile looking over both of them, “Be careful with him.” This time he looks straight at Christian and then he’s gone again, and Louis watches as he makes his way towards the loo.

 

“Ready to go?” Christian asks him, rolling his eyes at Harry’s dramatic exit and Louis nods as he follows Christian and asks one of the guards if he could pull the car around and the next thing Louis registers is the way his body guard guiding him and Christian into the van and he stares blankly at the swirling lights thinking, _there was nothing worse than loving a person and having them love you but both of you just walking away._

 

* * *

 

In the safety of the hotel room, Christian is on him again pressing him up against the cream walls and tugging on Louis’ tight trousers.

 

“You a top or a bottom?” Christian asks him seriously as he works both of their jeans to the ground and Louis just lets him.

 

“Bit of both,” Louis says unsure if he could ever have anyone inside him that wasn’t Harry. Christian just smiles at him and leans up to kiss him again.

 

“I can work with that,” and they are both on the bed and Louis is stripped of his t-shirt and feeling up and down Christian’s muscled back as the lad begins to make his way down Louis own soft chest. He stops when he reaches Louis right nipple and looks up at him through his lashes as he immediately takes the nub into his mouth and sucks hard on the rosy point.

 

Louis can’t help the moan that spills from his mouth and his hips jerk, the outline of his semi hitting Christian in the chest. As Christian kisses his way down Louis belly and dips his tongue inside Louis’ belly button all Louis can think is of how the hair he now grips doesn’t twist into curls.

 

When Christian looks up at him again as he silently asks for permission to slid Louis’ pants, Louis can’t help but think that the river was supposed to meet the grassy hills and not the muddy plains of earth.

 

“Christian,” He breathes and cups the mans face.

 

* * *

 

Harry couldn’t breathe as he staggers against the bathroom wall. It had been exactly six minutes from the time had watched Louis walk out without so much as a glance back at him and he could. Not. Breathe.

 

“Lou,” he sobs out and he isn’t sure if he wants the purple haired stylist or his soft-haired vixen to hug him but he is very positive that if he does not get out of The Flamingo’s tightening walls and stop whatever is happening back at the hotel then he would never forgive himself.

 

Harry very rarely makes mistakes, and when he does he is sure that he owns up to them and apologizes to everyone who deserves to hear it. He knows that the first time he had walked out on Louis; it had been both of them. They were falling apart and rarely communicating and neither one of them tried to stop the way they were tattered on the edges.

 

But the incident with Cal had been all him and he would never forgive himself. He couldn’t bring Louis enough breakfasts, or enough kisses to ever burry the pain both of them were experiencing from one stupid idea he had let run wild from his imagination. Harry knew that Louis was the only person he would ever love, and rarely ever questioned it. Even when they had split for a brief period, he knew that nobody would ever kiss quite like Louis’ soft lips or curl up quite as sweetly as Harry spooned him in bed.

 

But Harry had been scared, the way he felt scared him _so_ much because he was only nineteen and what person at nineteen knows that they want to wake up every morning to their pixie faced bandmate? So he had panicked and when Cal had given him an opportunity to explore other options he had taken it, thinking it would brief and never spoken about again. A confirmation for his feelings to Louis that there would never be anyone else to catch his fancy.

 

It just happened that Louis had witnessed it and now Harry was so far away from even _looking_ at square one it was killing him to even get out of bed in the mornings. Regardless of how far away he was from square one, though, Harry knew in that moment he saw Louis’ eyes meet the tanned boys on the dance floor that he would never live to see another day if Louis was spending it with anyone but him.

 

As he gets his own cab back to the hotel, having told his own body guard where he was headed, he tries to keep his tears down and avoids looking at any of the guards who had accompanied him back. _Louis deserves to be happy;_ his mind argues with him as they near the hotel, _why would you want him to stay miserable? You don’t deserve him._

 

“I don’t,” He admits out loud and Jerry the body guard gives him a confused look.

 

“Don’t what, Mr. Styles?” He asks him and Harry just shakes his head.

 

“I don’t deserve him…but I love him.” He knows that he shouldn’t but if the guard decides to say anything, which Harry knows he won’t, he could blame it on the alcohol. Nobody had to know he had only had one shot and a beer.

 

As he trudges his way down the beautifully decorated hallway, all Harry can feel burning feeling in his heart as he knows when he slides the keycard in that he might, _probably will¸_ see Louis bouncing on someone else’s cock. That his doe eyes would be staring down at someone else as the pink tip of his tongue came out to swipe his bottom lip where he had been biting to hard to keep his moans down. That Louis own cock would be straining up against his belly and as the man angled his hips to slam into Louis’ prostate Louis would fall forward and burry his face in the guy’s neck screaming at the friction of his penis trapped between both of their bellies and the fullness against his sweet spot.

 

Harry leans heavily against the wall at the imagery, and feels bile rise to his throat. Suddenly, he has to know if Louis ( _his Louis for God’s sake)_ is touching someone but him, and now he knows what Louis must have felt in that instant he found Harry with his lips on someone else. As he jerkily shoves the card into the door, the red lights flashes over and over as he removes it to quickly and using the wrong side.

 

He takes a steadying breath and flips the card over, trying to slow his pace as the lights flash green and he’s inside the room.

 

“Lou,” He gasps as he rushes through the section with the kitchenette and sitting area and back through the open door where the bedroom lays, all the lights turned off and silent. “Babes,” He breathes as he gets to the door and blinks to adjust to the dimness.

 

“I didn’t.” He hears and through the crack in the curtain he can see Louis’ naked back illuminated from where he’s sitting facing away from the door. He’s bathed and moonlight and never looked more beautiful. “I didn’t sleep with him, if that’s what you think.” Louis is crying and Harry doesn’t have to see his face to know.

 

He comes forward, and fuck his standards asking permission to touch because he’s behind Louis in an instant wrapping him up and pressing kisses all over his face.

 

“I couldn’t.” Louis sobs, “I couldn’t do it because…” He doesn’t finish his sentence as his entire body shudders and Harry tugs and tugs until Louis is situated in his arms like a small child, straddling Harry’s waist with their chests pressed together, and Harry is resting against the headboard.

 

“Shh, love. No more it’s okay.” He presses Louis tighter to him and tries to ignore the way the boy is only in his tight briefs. “It’s okay,” he smoothes his hands up and down Louis’ back.

 

“Fuck,” Louis whispers hoarsely, “It’s _not_ fucking _okay,_ Harry.” He pulls back from where his head had rested on Harry’s collar bones. “It isn’t _fucking okay_ that I still love you even when you completely screwed me over.” He his voice shrieks the last three words out as he hits Harry in the chest, his small fists raining down on and Harry lets him.

 

“Baby,” He coos softly at him trying to calm Louis down as he screams through his tears and his fists continue to pound with more power behind each one.

 

“Harry, how is it that no matter what you do to me I still want you? That I can’t even get another guy to suck me off without bursting into tears because it isn’t you? That isn’t fair, I don’t want this. I don’t want to be with a person who breaks my heart.” His blue eyes are crazed and Harry is reminded of the time they stood on a beach in some east coast state and the waves had crashed angrily against the sand, _and Louis had said, “Are my eyes the color of the ocean?” And cheekily batted his lashes up at Harry from where he was wrapped in Harry’s long embrace._

_“Not quite, love. More like a river…much gentler than an ocean.”_

_“Does that make you the rolling hills?”  Louis is sweet when he asks though,_

_“Suppose it must.”_

 

“So don’t,” Harry chokes on his own tears, “don’t be with me.” He doesn’t mean it but he would do anything to get Louis to smile.

 

“But how can I not?” Louis pleads helplessly, and his little hands have stopped smacking and now hang limply at his sides. “How can I not love you and want to spend forever with you?” He looks directly into Harry’s eyes and Harry takes the chance as it comes surging forward, risking everything he had tried to rebuild the past few weeks as their lips meet.

 

“Louis Tomlinson, you are everything that I’ve ever needed in this entire world. I’ve royally fucked up and I’ll spend forever apologizing if that’s what you want but please, for the love of God Lou, _please._ Don’t let me go.” Louis whimpers as he looks down and he looks so torn between fleeing and kissing Harry again.

 

“I could never let you go,” he chokes out, “I love you.” And their kissing again and tomorrow there will be a long list of problems to fix but tonight Louis is his again. Forever.

 

_“I’ll keep my eyes wide open, I’ll keep my arms wide open. Don’t let me go cause I’m tired of feeling alone.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any comments, criticisms, and kudos! I appreciate everything you have to say :). Even if it's like, "This story sucked" I'll probably just say, "Thanks for trying anyways!" Then go cry myself to sleep in bed. I didn't sleep a lot last night, can you guys tell...or?


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